How to Talk So Kids Can Learn - Reading Together - How to Free a Child Who Is Locked in a Role

FREEING A CHILD FROM PLAYING A ROLE
At Home and in School

Instead of labeling a child, you can:

1. LOOK FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO SHOW THE CHILD A NEW PICTURE OF HERSELF.
"What self-control! Even though you had a lot more to say, you realized that others needed a chance to talk."

2. PUT THE CHILD IN A SITUATION WHERE SHE CAN SEE HERSELF DIFFERENTLY.
"Nicole, I’d like you to chair the (class/family) meeting and make sure that everyone gets a turn to speak."

3. LET THE CHILD OVERHEAR YOU SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE ABOUT HER.
"Nicole has so many wonderful ideas that it’s hard for her to hold back. Nevertheless I’ve seen her do it."

4. MODEL THE BEHAVIOR YOU’D LIKE TO SEE.
"Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. Please finish what you were saying. My thought will keep."

5. REMIND THE CHILD OF HER PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
"I remember the discussion we had on capital punishment. You listened quietly, but when you finally gave your views, some people changed their position."

6. STATE YOUR FEELINGS AND/OR EXPECTATIONS.
"Nicole, when other people are waiting to speak, I’d like you to keep your comments brief."

(locations 2166-2182, Kindle Edition)

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