How to Talk So Kids Can Learn - Reading Together - Solving Problems Together

PROBLEM SOLVING
At Home and in School

1. LISTEN TO THE CHILD’S FEELINGS AND NEEDS.
Adult:  You seem very upset about failing your Spanish test.
Child:  I am! I only got twelve words right out of twenty, and I studied for an hour last night!

2. SUMMARIZE THE CHILD’S POINT OF VIEW.
Adult:  You sound pretty discouraged. Even though you tried to cram all those new words into your head, some of them refused to stick.

3. EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS AND NEEDS.
Adult:  My concern is that if you don’t memorize the basic vocabulary, you’ll get further and further behind.

4. INVITE THE CHILD TO BRAINSTORM WITH YOU.
Adult:  I wonder, if we put our heads together, could we come up with some new and more effective ways to study?

5. WRITE DOWN ALL IDEAS—WITHOUT EVALUATING.
Child: Drop Spanish.
Adult:  (writing): I’ve got that. What else?
Child: Maybe I could …

6. TOGETHER DECIDE WHICH IDEAS YOU DON’T LIKE, WHICH YOU DO, AND HOW YOU PLAN TO PUT THEM INTO ACTION.
Adult:  What do you think of the idea of making flash cards and studying only four new words each night?
Child:  That’s okay. But instead of flash cards, I like the idea of saying my words into a tape recorder and testing myself until I know them.

(locations 1420-1438, Kindle Edition)

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